Cenobite Warrior: Buster's Tall Tales
by Rurrlock-God of Power
Summary: Forced to babysit a group of hyper and destructive kids, Buster Daniels does the first thing that comes to mind and tells them any classic tale that he thinks of...only he gives it the parody/slasher spin that only he can. First up is 'Wizard of Oz'.


**Cenobite Warrior: Buster's Tall Tales**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, but my OC characters. Any other characters, items or otherwise written in this fic belong to their creators. I would do a list, but that would take up the whole fic. Also, I do not own the movies, books, or TV series that this fic will parody either. They are owned by their respective creators and owners.

**Note: **Takes place in between Cenobite Warrior and Cenobite Warrior 2.

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**Prologue:**

''Oh come on Simon, this might be fun.''

''Fun?'' Simon yelled at the top of his lungs. ''A whole summer off, free from work and terrible lunch food! When I hear that, the first thing that comes to my mind is a relaxing time in the beach while my fan girls treat me as the royalty I deserved to be treated like. Not babysitting a bunch of whiny brats every week!''

Buster Daniels had to take a step back as the force of Simon's yelling was almost enough to burst his eardrums. He could tell that his older brother was enthusiastic about the idea of having to help out at a day care over the summer holidays. Truthfully, Buster would also rather be other places during the summer, however his naïve and kind-hearted nature made it impossible for him to turn down someone in need…that someone being an older woman with about half a dozen little kids driving her up the wall.

That woman's name was Helga, and it was only last week when she was rushing out of the doors of the day care, trying to escape the little terrors that were chasing her down. She happened to bump into Buster who was walking along at that current time, and after a quick greeting and explanation, Buster couldn't help but offer his assistance seeing how desperate the woman was.

Unfortunately for Simon, he happened to be dragged along into this mess as he was with Buster at the time. Even with his attempts at trying to excuse himself out of it, Buster was determined that the two brothers would help out with looking after the children at the day care.

Even as the two were mere feet away from the front doors of the day care, Simon still had more to complain about. ''But you know what's the worst part?''

Buster shrugged his shoulders. ''That the others couldn't come with us?''

''No! We're not even getting paid to do this!''

As if money was of no concern, Buster raised his arms in amusement. ''Money doesn't make the world go round.''

''Yes it does!'' Simon retorted. ''And this is coming from the guy whose girlfriend would probably sell him on eBay for a couple of green bills.''

''Simon, that is so not true,'' Buster returned, giving a slight pause before continuing with his comeback. ''No one uses eBay anymore, she would sell me on Amazon instead.''

Hearing this, Simon could only stare blankly at his little brother. ''How did you save the world again?''

Before they could bicker anymore though, the front doors of the day care exploded open as Helga and two other assistant carers dashed out and past the two brothers. Just as they went past, Helga quickly turned to look at Buster. A huge smile plastered on her face. ''Ha ha! Those little terrors are now your problem for the whole summer. We're free! Free!'' She screamed with joy and skipped off into the distance like she had just won the lottery.

…

…

…

Buster smiled and nudged Simon lightly. ''She seems confident in us.''

''Do you even know how to look after little kids?'' Simon asked.

''No,'' Buster replied simply. ''But if I can gain super demon powers, face off against dozens of slashers, study under Bruce Lee, and have a holiday spin-off fan fiction; I think I can handle a few little kids. I mean, how hard can it be?''

Without having the time to react, two skipping ropes that were tied around at one end to make lassos emerged from the shadows of inside the day care and wrapped around the two brothers. Instantly, they were pulled back into the building, as the doors slammed shut behind them.

Caught completely off guard, Buster and Simon were blinded by interior darkness, unable to see what was going on…guess this answered Buster's question on if Cenobites had night vision. Although shrouded in darkness, the two could hear faint whispering and mumbling going on around them. It was too hard to tell how many were speaking, or even where they were in the room…guess this also rules out super Cenobite hearing.

As Buster tried to move, that's when he realised he was no longer standing on his own two feet, but seated in what felt like a wooden chair with a back support. Without warning yet again, the lights were switched on at full blast, nearly blinding the two as they finally saw their abductors…a group of seven year olds, six of them in fact, five boys and one girl. Each of them carrying giant wooden rulers like swords, and with belts that each carried their own personalised 'weapons', including glue bottles, glitter cups, and crayons.

One of the kids stepped forward, his face covered with crayon markings, what Buster assumed was the 'war paint'. As the child approached, Buster could also hear the grumbling of his brother, also tied to a wooden chair right next to him. ''Hey there,'' Buster greeted the children politely. ''I'm Buster, this is my brother Simon! We're here to look after…''

**THWACK! **He didn't get much out before the kid who stepped forward bashed the wooden ruler on Buster's head hard. ''Silence giant!'' The kid spoke proudly. ''We are the warriors of the playground. And we shall smite any giant that comes to us.''

Simon, disinterested with the children's fantasy, looked at them glumly before exploding with rage in an instant. ''As much as I love see my brother get hit with blunt objects, get us out of these chairs!''

''No,'' The kid spoke back defiantly. ''You are our prisoners! You will stay here forever!''

The other children raised their rulers above their heads. ''Forever!'' They all chanted.

''You know it's amazing,'' Simon said. ''We can't even go to somewhere as simple as a day care centre without getting beaten, kidnapped or just messed with.''

Buster regained his composure after that little whack he took to the head and tried to address the kid. ''Okay, I think we got off on the wrong foot. How about we start again? What's your names?''

''I am Robert!'' The lead child spoke. The other children followed suit one after the other.

A thin looking blond boy stepped forward. ''Chis!''

Beside him was another blond boy, but his hair was almost reaching down to his shoulders, and his body was more stocky. ''Chis number two!''

''Scarlett!''

''Mark!''

''Jeremy!''

At least Buster was getting somewhere. ''Hello everyone, so now how about…''

**THWACK!**

Once again, the Cenobite Warrior was interrupted as Robert hit him over the head with his ruler. ''Silence again! You are our prisoners! And know, we shall sacrifice you by eating you.''

Having enough of this childish game, Simon chuckles lightly. ''Oh so scary,'' He mocked sarcastically. ''Who was your last carer? Hannibal Lector?''

''Yes.'' The children answered.

…

…

…

''Simon I really think they are going to eat us!'' Buster gulped.

''Well, I had to be put out of my misery one day.''

Trying to think of some way to get out of this sticky situation, Buster was forced to consider all his options. ''Hold on kids, how about we play a game?''

''We broke all our games.'' Robert responded.

''Oh, well…uh…how about a story?''

Robert huffed loudly and folded his arms. ''We've already heard lots of stories!'' He pouted.

Buster's eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. ''Really? I doubt that! There are so many stories in the world, I think I can tell you some new ones that will blow your little minds!''

For the first time, the children's expressions shifted from deadly scavengers, to curious little knowledge seekers as they edged closer to Buster. ''What kind of new stories?''

''Um…'' There had to be something that Buster could tell them, anything would be good at this current time. Trying to envision a name in his head, it didn't take long before a light bulb seemed to shine over Buster's head as a story came to him. ''How about the Wizard of Oz?''

''We've heard that one!'' The children answered simultaneously.

Buster gave them an eager grin. ''Not the version I'm about to tell you!'' With the anticipation flowing in him, probably just as strongly as in the children right now, Buster used his Cenobite strength to break free from the rope that tied him down to the chair and made sure he was comfortable to tell the story. ''Okay, so this story begins…''

**THWACK!**

Buster rubbed the top of his head to try and stop the pain. ''OW! Hey!''

The kids all pointed their arms in the direction of Simon, holding one of the wooden rules in his teeth. He spat it out before turning to Buster, his eyes blood-shot red with anger and frustration. ''You could have broken out of that the whole time?''

''Duh! I've wrestled with Godzilla, a skipping rope isn't going to hold me down.''

…

…

…

''Do those hits on the head even hurt you?'' Simon questioned.

Just to keep the confusion going without knowing, Buster simply shrugged his shoulders and stared blankly back at Simon, before turning to the children, who now all sat on the ground waiting patiently for the story to begin…

''And so begins the tale…of Cenobite Warriors' Wizard of Oz!''

**To Be Continued…**


End file.
